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1. This is a very touching story about life, death and friends. It's certain to strum your heartstrings and touch your soul.

2. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration

3. Various

4. My daughter just walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army . Then sell my new car. Take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will ." Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said ... "Dad I have decided to work for Obama's re-election campaign."